Carnival of Bauer

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Thursday, April 06, 2006

Carnival of Bauer!!! VI

The Carnival of Bauer!!! Week 6
The Carnival is on the move! Next week, Jack Bauer and his carnival moves to Inn of the Last Home. Send Jack Bauer an email if you are interested in hosting The Carnival of Bauer!!! on your site.

Now a message from our Sponsor:
"Hi, I am Jack Bauer. You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful. Vote for Jack Bauer in 2008, or else. Thank you."

This Carnival is sponsored by the Jack Bauer for President committee.

While Catscape got his submission in late, but he did have a valid excuse. Someone in the Logan administration had targeted his vehicle due to his anti-Logan bumper sticker. The Catscape t-shirt girl was not harmed. Jack Bauer is on the case.

Buckley F. Williams has solved the brewing immigration problem with all those Mexicans. Have Jack Bauer annex Mexico as our 51st state. In a post aply titled "The Case For Having Jack Bauer Annex Mexico", he takes on the tough issues like removing the strange people from Mexican television shows. I hear he even wants to execute Menudo!

During the last episode, Jack gave Wayne the worst pep-talk in the history of pep-talks. "Wayne, killing a man is not that easy, here's a gun...cover me". Barry at Inn of the Last Home (home of The Carnival of Bauer!!! VII) has a post called "Shot Through the Heart" which fails to mention the Bon Jovi song, but does note that Wayne was not that bad at padding the Kill Counter. In fact, he let his first kill turn around as to not shoot him in the back. Manners matter.

Emperor Misha I posts The Mother of All Recaps for the previous episode. HE notes that we now have even more reasons to despise Logan. You know, someone told me that Logan was going to do something during that episode to make people like him again; I guess that prediction was a little off. On a side note: Jack Bauer wears The Emperor Misha pajamas.

In fact, Templar Times wanted answers from President Weasel so they interviewed him. Unfortunately, the interview did not end with Jack Bauer breaking down a door and hooking Logan's nipples up to a car battery.

Crusader Coyote compares Bauer's relationships with Batman. Coyote (if that is their real name) thinks Audrey and Jack have a solid future.... Dr. Phil seems to feel otherwise.

Earlier, Blogs4Bauer got the inside scoop on Jack Bauer's Treo 650 cell phone. Josh at Multiple Mentality wants the inside scoop on what Jack has in his man purse. My money is on a travel Scrabble game, 3 Diet Cokes, Duct Tape, and the scalp of Nina Myers.

Francis W. Porretto has everything you want to know about the direction of 24's cliffhangers.

Provoking the Muse has a recap of the 10-11pm episode and has a good idea who is helping the writers as a ghost writer. Yeaaahhh!

Karen of Scottsdale also has a recap and notes that Jack cannot trust the President or his cabinet...which is not new territory for Jack. Hell, last season he had to die in order to get Logan off his back.

Jeff Kouba's Number of Times Someone Says a Variation of "Go!" Counter is up to 23. Everyone drink.

Pantry Girl has a problem with the medical facilities at CTU. She writes "If I had the option to go to CTU medical center or a Santerian Shaman in Nigeria, I’d choose the chicken bones and coconuts." I tend to agree. Last season Maya Driscoll and Paul Raines proved that you are not in good hands with the CTU Medical staff.

"Flowers Bloom" posting at Radioactive Liberty pens an open letter to Jack Bauer. Flower...if Jack Bauer had time to follow your advice, the show would be called 12,303 (and counting) instead of 24 and the Kill Counter would have to be shut down.

Fausta posts that the CTU Fashion Police have determined that black is hot in Los Angeles from the hours of 7am to 7pm. In fact, the only person not wearing dark colors ended up with her husband leaving and a bullet in the leg (just above the kneecap).

Some crazy website had a "Jack Bauer is a Democrat" t-shirt for sale. While as painful as it may sound, it's true - he's a Democrat. He died and everybody knows that only Democrats have the ability to vote from beyond the grave. Jim over at Infinite Universe tries to prove that Jack Bauer is no Democrat.

King Tom has some deep thoughts about the last episode including: "Chlöe is not going to like being a political pawn" and "Thank you for answering how Wayne got the gun".

Your Jack Bauer Moments of Zen is brought to us by Jwookie. By the way, LA is screwed because Jack Bauer is scared. Remember that Jack Bauer cries acid.

Finally, Demonrats asks WWJBD on the Cynthia McKinney issue.

/////End of Transmission/////

Upcoming Hosts
Inn of the Last Home (4/13)
Justin's Random Thoughts (4/20)
Below the Beltway (4/27)
Right Wing Nation (5/4)
The Llama Butchers (5/11)
The Templar Times

Previous Carnivals
Announcing the Carnival of Bauer!!!
The Carnival of Bauer!!! - Week 1
The Carnival of Edgar- Week 2
The Carnival of Tony - Week 3
The Carnival of Life - Week 4
The Carnival of the Cougar - Week 5

Make sure to get your entries into next week's Carnival of Bauer!!! by midnight on Wednesday!
Blog Carnival submission form - carnival of bauer!!!


Anonymous said...

You act like shutting down the kill counter would be a bad thing

Anonymous said...

An hour without blood is like a day without sunshine.

Anonymous said...

If Jack Bauer was president pof the USA, Mexico would be honored to be annexed. We mock Bush, but we respect El Bauer

Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info » »