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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Point: Jack Bauer cannot help recover your money

**Each week, Blogs4Bauer has a debate around various aspects of the show 24. One side gives a point and the other side gives a rebuttal. This one is inspired by our Spambaiting as Jack Bauer.**

Point: Jack Bauer Cannot Help Recover Your Money, Mr. Rakotozafy (I can)
by Nina Myers

Mr. Rakotozafy, let me start off by giving my condolences on the loss of your father. Any friend of the king of Togo is a friend of mine. In your state of grief, it is best not to make any rash decisions. Therefore, having Jack Bauer recover your family fortune is a grave mistake. Trust me.

I hear that someone you trusted killed a family member. You don't know how close to home that hits.

Luis, you cannot trust Jack Bauer with your fortune of $8.5 million. You only know Jack through emails, he's a different person in real life and he's only out for blood. Yes, he may be able to find the man who killed your father, torture him, and then kill him in a dramatic fashion towards the end of an hour. But what happens next? Does he get you the money or is he off to avenge some other wrong? Knowing Jack Bauer, he'd just find some excuse to leave you with the family fortune still in Africa, while he claims that he doesn't have time for your troubles. He may even get suspicious of you and have you tortured (just ask Richard Heller). Even worse, he may pawn you off on his idiot daughter, Kim Bauer.

Mr. Rakotozafy, your family has been through too much and has a long way to go. Don't make a mistake by choosing the first person who offers to help, espically Jack Bauer. Do some research and you will see that I would be your best chance of recovering your money. As for the 20% you are offering, I need at least 30%, 12 henchmen, and a car. The clock is ticking.

Counterpoint: Everything Nina Myers says is bullsh*t. - by Jack Bauer

Previous Point-Counterpoint Posts
Point- Audrey Raines: Kick The Jack Habit Today! - by Dr. Phil (on loan from
Counterpoint - Audrey, stand by your man! - by Mary Jo Buttafuoco

Point - Thin Mints are an addictive narcotic - by Jack Bauer
Counterpoint - Thin Mints Are Only The Beginning - by Vladimir Bierko

Point - I'm going to make it!
Counterpoint - Nah, you're not. - by Death

Point - CTU needs better training for their security guards before something bad happens
Counterpoint - My teenage daughter could have stopped every incursion into CTU!

Point- 24:The Game Will Lead to More Violence
Counterpoint - Violence Makes The World Go 'Round

Point - Jack Bauer could not have shot down one of our AS 350 Ecureuil Helicopters with a handgun
Counterpoint - A redneck with a squirt gun could shoot down your euro-trash.

Point - It's Time To Turn Jack Bauer Over To The Chinese
Counterpoint - Confucius Say, "Man With Wandering Groin Accomplishes Little"

Point - Impeach Weasel, Dennis Kucinich For President
Counterpoint - Fox should fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola

Point - They are already illegally wiretapping Jack Bauer's cell phone, whose next?
Counterpoint - The U.S. government does not violate our civil rights enough!

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