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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

24 Point/Counterpoint

Point: Nuke the bastards, let Buddha sort them out
by Don Imus

Jack Bauer has it all wrong. He shouldn't get his man-boobs in a tizzy because of that dong-nosed broad Audrey. We have the Russian nukes, lets use em on those Asain bastards and let Buddha sort them out.

Sorry Jack, Audrey is a dog. I don't believe that she went to China looking for you. Hell, I don't think she could find China on a map if her huge honker nose was pointed at it, let alone plan a rescue operation. It appears she stuck her nose in someplace it didn't belong and now is your chance to kill two birds with one nuke.

Good work on those Islamic terrorists Jack, it's good know there was a run on virgins over the past few hours. I think Allah had to round up 432 virgins in the last couple of hours alone. I've been to LA and I know finding one is pretty hard to do.

Now that we have their nukes, lets use 'em before CTU loses 'em. With 7 hours left, you know CTU will just screw up a handover or a mole will just walk on out with them. Come on Jack put them to good use on those rotten Chinese. Give them a delivery they will not soon forget!

The beautiful part is they're Russian-made nukes, so the ching-chong Chinese will probably think the Russians were all goofed up on vodka and bear sex, let the briefcase nukes get stolen...well I just don't give a crap, let them think the snukes ended up in that nappy headed ho Sandra Palmer's snitch for all I care. Just blow those rice-eaters to the stone age with their Arab buddies.

Oh, could you call Al Sharpton and let him know there's a news conference at the site beforehand?


silvr107 said...

LMAO!!! That has got to be one of the funniest damn blogs I have ever read!!! And to think admist all your hilarity you even made a REAl valid point.. NO ONE cares about Audrey!!! I say get rid of ALL the dang "romantic entanglements" on the show and make it the show it used to be!!

Sally Jo said...

There have ALWAYS been romantic entanglements, you guys! Sometimes I wonder if you watch the show. Here's the list: Teri, Nina, Kate, Claudia, Audrey, Diane...who knows maybe Mandy, Sherry, and even Chloe for all we know!

Sally likes a little romance in Jack's life. He still kills plenty of people. Crimeny!

Anonymous said...

Yes, there have always been romances on this show, but that doesn't change the fact that no one really cares if Audrey dies. She's not terribly interesting. I liked her dad though.

Now if Chloe was on the brink of death, that would be something.

Hopefully a new season will bring a new, more interesting love interest, if Jack has one.

Anonymous said...

And Kim. You forgot Kim.

Anonymous said...

Vote for her, dammit. There is no way Mandy is more attractive.

Jack Bauer said...

Don't forget Audrey's junkie brother whom Jack tortured. I really don't think Jack cares for her. He just wants to mess with her a little more.

-Killer her ex-husband
-threatened her lover's eyeball
-tortured her brother

The signs are all there Sally.

Sally Jo said...



yankz said...

We need more criteria for Miss B4B. Should we judge it based solely on looks? In which case, Kim wins the tourney in a landslide. Or importance to the show? Who we'd like to date? Who would look best with a Jack Sack?

steveegg said...

We don't need a counterpoint, dammit! Oh Don, could you the bomb (along with Chloe and her hacker army?)