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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Counterpoint: Breckinridge, You Couldn't Hold Jack Bauer's Jock.
by Chloe O'Brian

Agent Breckinridge, I'd like to respond for Jack Bauer. Why? Because he is too busy saving the country to rip someone on a blog. As I write this, Jack is currently tracking the man responsible for a nerve agent attack in Los Angeles. You may know him. His name is President Charles Logan!

David, you brag about finding a mole and saving the President in one hour and thirty-five minutes. Well, golly gee, it took you that long to find one man? Are you an idiot? In the past five or so years, Jack has gone toe-to-toe with a Latin American drug cartel, an elite paratrooper regiment, and an Islamofascist terror network. He almost singlehandedly took them (there were far more than one) all down in twenty-four hours.

You also brag about the Secret Service being mole-free for 141 years. Then you find the first ever (who also happens to be your octogenarian mentor) and it takes you almost two hours to take him down? If the USSS were such an efficient, well-oiled machine, I would have figured that there would be training scenarios for just such an event. I guess I was wrong.

Look, I would just love to stay and chat - really, and I mean that - but I am a very busy person right now. My suggestion would for you to prepare your resume - since the President won't be in office for much longer - and have a nice, cool glass of shut the hell up. Moron.

Point: Jack Bauer Puts the "Special" in Special Agent
by Agent David Breckinridge


Anonymous said... know how to hit a man where it hurts.

Anonymous said...

Can Breckenridge survive a nuclear explosion by deflecting it with the force of his stare????

Didn't think so.

RFTR said...

Chloe, you forgot to point out that Jack takes out several moles each day—Breckenridge may be able to take out one in an hour, but he wouldn't be able to sustain the pace Jack has set over the long run.

Anonymous said...

Chloe...shouldn't you be decrypting a file or redirecting a satelitte?

Who let you out of your workstation? Remember what happened to Edgat the last time one of you computer nerds stepped away from your station.