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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

24 Point Counterpoint

Point: Why don't you just kill him now?
by Scott Evil


Oh Graham Cracker... What the hell are you doing man? Did the bag over your head cause you to lose that many brain cells? I mean, you have Jack right where any archvillan would want him. Nina Myers and Victor Drazen are rolling in their grave. Why don't you just kill him now?

You killed his CTU backup. Good.
You disarmed him and insulted his dead wife making him want revenge. Good.
You handcuffed him and....Wait, where are you going?

Aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away! You numb-nuts!

I may have been artificially created in a lab but I wasn't artificially created in a lab yesterday. The logical thing to do is a couple of bullets to the head. The KIA in the parking lot was not registered to your company; just stash the dead bodies in the trunk. Hell just put them in the CTU SUV that your goons already took care of. You have the time. You have the bullets. The balls? Didn't think so. Why not put the gun in your mouth you no-haired ass-boy.

You could even shoot your father with Jack's gun, place it in Jack's hand and then CTU will spend countless hours calling it a "tragic murder-suicide" while you are refilling your Rogaine and hanging out with Jack's love child.

Better yet, I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out! Instead you are just going to leave Jack Bauer and daddy to a couple of goons who look like they need color diagrams to put on pants?

That'll do, jackass. That'll do.

Counterpoint: Why not torture him first?
by Dr. No

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shhht!

Zip it!

How bout you don't!

KJ said...

The counterpoint to this is so obviuos it practically writes itself. I mean, really.