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Monday, January 29, 2007

Signs That Josh Bauer is Jack Bauer's son

Top 10 signs Josh Bauer is Jack Bauer's son
10. Diagnosed as having Tourette syndrome because his first words were yelled.
9. His first girlfriend had a penis shaped nose.
8. At 13 years old, he still had not gone to the bathroom.
7. Puberty brought on a deeper voice, acne, and manboobs
6. He didn't have time for 3rd grade.
5. While in the Cub Scouts, Josh's pinewood derby car finished 1st with a record time of 0.02 seconds.
4. Made his entire kindergarten class cry when he started a chinese whisper game with a threat involving a towel.
3. For show-and-tell he brought a PDA
2. Josh lives on a diet of vegetable oil and Red Bull.
1. He could beat up Chuck Norris' kid.

...His baseball coach would always pick him to lay down a sacrifice bunt.
...Built a fort in his backyard, which was always infiltrated by moles.
...the fort had a torture chamber.
...Classmates refused to play tag with him after the piano wire and Capri-Sun incident.

Got more? Post them in the comments.


Barry Wallace said...

Asked for a hacksaw for Christmas

MediaShuffle said...

Referred to the principals office for saying da**it repeatably.

L P said...

Didn't hand in his Social Studies homework, citing that there was simply "not enough time" to finish it.

Scott said...

During driver's exam, navigated from Santa Monica to Palmdale in 15 minutes flat.