Counterpoint: Perez, you ignorant slut!

By Dan Aykroyd

Perez, you ignorant slut. I read your Point and vomited in disgust. Terrorists nuked L.A. because vapid bottle-blonde bimbos like you are ruining this country. Having spent most of my adult life in Hollywood, I am rather familiar with this city.

It’s a cesspool.

You asked what the terrorists have against very pretty and somewhat important people. First of all, have you even seen Los Angeles lately? For every Natalie Portman and Jessica Simpson, there’s a Harvey Fierstein and a Rosie O’Donnell. Second of all, if this berg is so damned important, then why is all of the country’s power on the east coast? I mean, I guess Ivan Reitman is fairly important . . . if you are a gold medalist in the Casting Couch Olympics.

Look, taking pride in your town is something everyone can appreciate. Take a look at New York City, for example. After 9-11, no one has even looked at The Big Apple. Why? Because they would hunt down the terrorists and kick their asses back to Allah! However, when you take a good hard look at the situation, the terrorists have been attacking Los Angeles for only one reason: you’re a bunch of pussies.

I have three words for Perez Hilton: yes they did!

Point: No they didn't!
By Perez Hilton