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Thursday, January 11, 2007

Blogs4Bauer Kill Counter Guidelines

Last season at Blogs4Bauer, we counted every death on the kill counter. Others copied the system and now every other 24 site has someone counting the bodies before they hit the floor. We're going to do things a little different this season. Jack Bauer's body count is going to work on a points-based system that was first developed by the evil geniuses who brought us the BCS system in college football.

This season, it sounds like we don't have enough fingers or space to tally up the number of bodies left behind Jack's wake. In today's New York Post, they review the upcoming Jack Bauer Power Hours and state (what Tyler and some other hacks already know) that we have been under attack for some time before the President Palmer picks up the phone and orders a #45, which happens to be a tortured Jack Bauer and a side of rice.

As the sixth season of "24" begins, we learn that the attacks have been underway for about 11 weeks in at least 10 cities. - NY Post
Too many bodies, so little time. So therefore we are laying down some guidelines for this season's Kill Counter©.
Kill Counter© Guidelines
1. Only kills made by Jack Bauer will be counted.
2. Jack Bauer has to be present in order for a kill to be counted. No mind-control crap.
3. If Jack Bauer kills himself, a paradox will be created thus ending any future use of this kill counter and/or could end the world as we know it.
4. If Jack Bauer dies, the Kill Counter© will go on. Because...
5. If Jack's ghost kills someone, it counts.
6. Bonus points will be awarded if Jack goes beyond the call of duty in killing someone by taunting and/or torturing before killing them.

We will still post a weekly Blogs4Bauer Kill Counter Challenge, where you guess the total number of points that will be added to the counter during the week's show. The closest to the actual number will be the winner. We will post the first challenge on Friday and it will cover the firs two hours on Sunday. The second one will cover Monday night's hours and will be posted Monday.

Point System:
Jack Bauer kills someone with a gun (1 point)
Jack Bauer kills someone with a knife (1 point)
Jack Bauer kills someone with explosives (1 point)
Jack Bauer kills someone with his bare hands (2 points)
Jack Bauer kills a cougar (3 points)
Jack Bauer kills another member of CTU (-1 point)
Bonus Points:
Jack Bauer tortures someone before killing them (+1 point)
Jack Bauer says something cool before killing them (+1 point)
Jack Bauer says something cool and tortures someone before killing them (+2 points)

Got any other additions to the points/bonus system like how we can incorporate a Combo System so Jack gets multiple points for bulk kills? Enter them in the comments.


lawhawk said...

Jack Bauer says something cool and that's a bonus point? Isn't everything he says cool to start with.

If Jack remote detonates a bunch of terrorists, will that count? I think it should.

If Jack kills 3 people in one incident, he should get +1.

If he kills 10 people, he should get +3.

If he blows up a bus, it must be going under 50 mph for there to be bonus points awarded (the Speed rule).

Anonymous said...

what if he kills someone but without using his hands/knife/pen/implement/tool/car/bus/tractor etc ? ie using another part of his anatomy ;)

and i wont enter the competition - it would be unfair :)

bRight & Early said...

You have "killing a couger" listed, but what if he kills someone with a couger?

Anonymous said...

Jack kills someone with a cougar - +2 points.

I read the NY post article, I guess we have to add points for when Jack "takes a bite out of crime".

al said...

Can we add points (say +100) if Jack kills someone while he (Jack) is answering natures call?

Anonymous said...

strangulation with strap or any other portion of man-purse?


Anonymous said...

Manpurse killings are +2
If Jack kills someone with his aviators on its another +1
If Jack pisses on the corpse of someone he just killed....+5

Justin said...

But will the Carnival be back?

Anonymous said...

The Carnival of Bauer will return next week.

Stay tuned for more details.

Anonymous said...

Jack Bauer kills someone with his bare hands (2 points)

Will this include the "Thighs Of Steel" as well? Just need some clarification.

Justin said...

Thanks the man. I was starting to wonder.

Anonymous said...

Also, may I add a few?

Jack kills someone moments after being tortured: +2 points

Jack kills someone by biting their throat: +5 points

Jack kills Audrey: +1000000 points

Anonymous said...

I agree. We should assign zones of Jack's body different points. His thighs did kill someone last season.

Anonymous said...

I agree, the bonus system is missing if Jack Bauer kills somebody by biting. That should be worth +10.

Anonymous said...

In season 2 Jack kills a man with a flare gun. He gets 15 bonus points for creativity.