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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Chinese Prepare for Bauer's Wrath

Chinese Prepare for Bauer's Arrival
With Jack Bauer heading for Mainland China, the billions of citizens in his path have prepared for what looks like an unfair fight. Something must be done to even the playing field with Bauer.

Enter the 3-armed baby born on Tuesday at Shanghai Children's Medical Center. "Jie-jie", which translated means "Little 3-Armed Chinese Jack Bauer-Killer", is expected to start training for his upcoming mission (killing Jack Bauer) in a matter of weeks.

"We hope 3-arm better than Jack's two" said General Wang Chung, the head of China's military wing in charge of combating Jack Bauer. "Why 3-arms? Because four would look weird." said Chung.

Asian people and their cities have not been in this much danger since the days Godzilla. The Chinese are not going to wait until Jack Bauer starts torching Beijing to act. With Jie and his 3 appendages, they can even the odds that are already starting to stack against them. But, is it too little too late? Will Jack Bauer pull another arm out of his manpurse? What does Goro from Mortal Kombat think about this?

Season 6: January 2007

Editor's note: Children born with deformities are not funny. For more information on how you can help the hospital where the child was born, check out Project Hope's website.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Goddess (if that is your real name),

Some of what we post comes across in bad taste (see references to Kim Bauer's intelligence) and my post was not meant to "exploit" a baby - just having a little fun with a news story found on Drudge.

I respect your opinion that we should not make fun of this youngster. However, most comedy and satire pokes fun at one malformation or another. Whether it's making fun of Kim Bauer's lack of a brain, me being whipped, this child's third arm, or Chloe's social skills.

I have added a link to Project Hope in case people want to learn more about the hospital where the deformed child was born.