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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Point: Jack Bauer's Threats Will Not Stop Iran's Nuclear Plans

Point: Jack Bauer's Threats Will Not Stop Iran's Nuclear Plans
by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Mr. Jack Bauer, for sometime now I have been thinking, how one can justify the undeniable contradictions that exist in the international arena. Many questions remain unanswered, I hope to address these and show the world that Jack Bauer's empty threats will not stop Iran's right to Nuclear weapons energy.

Can one be a follower of Jesus Christ, the great Messenger of God, Feel obliged to respect human rights, Present liberalism as a civilization model, Make War and Terror his slogan, and at the same time, kill hundreds of peace loving people?

In the same regard, Jack Bauer. How can a man like yourself, torture and jail people who have not been tried in the justice system you work so hard to protect? Would Jack Bauer torture Jesus Christ if it was thought he was withholding some vital information? Not to stray from my point, but why have no Jews been tortured on your watch?

Surely a man who lives with these contradictions cannot be a real threat to Iran and our ambitions. We saw that Marwan (peace be upon him) was unable to destroy the pile of rubbish you Americans call "Los Angeles". Ah, but it was clear that Behrooz and his mother showed that feminine boys and women should be locked up and not let out of the residence. That is a mistake you will not see happen again. Without their meddling, Marwan (peace be upon him), would have destroyed CTU, Jack Bauer, and Hollywood.

With history on our side, Iran will become a nuclear power. What could Jack Bauer do anyway? Jack Bauer, you know the Iranian people are not afraid of one man. Even with Curtis, we will not be denied our right to nuclear power.

Vasalam Ala Man Ataba'al hoda
Mahmood Ahmadi-Najad - President of the Islamic Republic of Iran

Counterpoint: Keep It Up And We'll Give You Nuclear Weapons ASAP - Courtesy Of The B-2 Bomber
by Donald Rumsfeld

Previous Point-Counterpoint Posts
Point - Dude, I Wouldn't Hit That, Again. by Spenser Wolff
Counterpoint - A Guy Who Is Hung Like A Chinese Church-mouse Shouldn't Run His Pie-hole So Much. by Chloe O'Brian

Point - Don't Hold Your Breath; Heller's Dead. by Ted Kennedy
Counterpoint - Anything Is Possible. by Mary Jo Kopechne

Point - I'm Going to Kill Jack Bauer! by Christopher Henderson
Counterpoint - Henderson, You're As Good As Dead! by The Grim Reaper

Point- Jack Bauer Cannot Help Recover Your Money, Mr. Rakotozafy (I can) - by Nina Myers
Counterpoint- Everything Nina Myers says is bullsh*t. - by Jack Bauer

Point- Audrey Raines: Kick The Jack Habit Today! - by Dr. Phil (on loan from - Audrey, stand by your man! - by Mary Jo Buttafuoco

Point - Thin Mints are an addictive narcotic - by Jack Bauer
Counterpoint - Thin Mints Are Only The Beginning - by Vladimir Bierko

Point - I'm going to make it! by Random Guard
Counterpoint - Nah, you're not. - by Death

Point - CTU needs better training for their security guards before something bad happens
Counterpoint - My teenage daughter could have stopped every incursion into CTU!

Point- 24:The Game Will Lead to More Violence
Counterpoint - Violence Makes The World Go 'Round

Point - Jack Bauer could not have shot down one of our AS 350 Ecureuil Helicopters with a handgun
Counterpoint - A redneck with a squirt gun could shoot down your euro-trash.

Point - It's Time To Turn Jack Bauer Over To The Chinese
Counterpoint - Confucius Say, "Man With Wandering Groin Accomplishes Little"

Point - Impeach Weasel, Dennis Kucinich For President
Counterpoint - Fox should fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola

Point - They are already illegally wiretapping Jack Bauer's cell phone, whose next?
Counterpoint - The U.S. government does not violate our civil rights enough!

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