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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Ties That Bind

The Ties That Bind: The Kennedy's Muck Up The Jack Bauer Kill Counter

In the midst of telling a Patrick Kennedy joke to a co-worker, I thought of something. Something is behind the lack of activity on The Jack Bauer Kill Counter. It appears that Jack Bauer has been trapped in Camelot for the past few weeks. Call it the 6-Degrees of JFK.

To help my argument, I have developed a flow chart:

Jack Bauer - Patrick Kennedy: Jack Bauer drives a 757 down a freeway at 3am better than Patrick Kennedy drives his Mustang at 3am. Both have history of drug abuse.

Patrick Kennedy - Ted Kennedy: Pat is Ted's son.

Patrick Kennedy - SecDef Heller: Both should have their driver's license revoked.

SecDef Heller - Ted Kennedy: Both drove a car into the drink and lived to tell about it. Both have sons they would like to kick in the butt. Both have accused a sitting president of treason.

Ted Kennedy - John F. Kennedy: John was Ted's brother

SecDef Heller - John F. Kennedy: William Devane played JFK in The Missiles of October

President Weasel - JFK: Gregory Itzin admits he used JFK as an inspiration for President Charles Logan.

Regardless, The Jack Bauer Kill Counter stood at -1 at the end of last night's episode. How could that happen? There was an airliner headed to a date with the ground and/or a Sidewinder, the president was going to airate his head, and Martha had more junk in her than Courtney Love on a bad day....and Tyler was not liveblogging.

My conclusion: Jack Bauer needs to stop celebrating Jack Bauer Appreciation Day and get back to killing people.

1 comment:

Rick Moran said...

William Devane (Heller) also played JFK in "Missiles of October."