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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

B4B Fight Club: Aaron v. Locke. Who Wins?

Aaron Pierce: '24'
Age: mid-forties
Nationality: American
Occupation: Secret Service Agent, President's Detail
Current Season Death Count: At least 4 terrorists
Strengths: Good shot, steady nerves, tough as Hell. Cannot be stopped by flamethrowers, automatic weapons, or rocket propelled grenades.
Weaknesses: I hear his son is a dumbass. Possibly vulnerable to knives.
Curious Detail: He also was once on an Island.

John Locke: 'Lost'
Age: early fifties
Nationality: American
Occupation: Assistant Regional Sales Manager for a box company
Death Count: 1 (Boon)
Strengths: Quiet on the outside, but on the inside, a volcano of rage. Also, never underestimate a youper. (Terry O'Quinn was born in Newberry, MI). Also, good with knives.
Weaknesses: Needs to sacrifice people to the island in order to remain ambulatory. Short one kidney. Can be killed by exploding vending machines.
Curious Detail: He was also once hit on by the president's wife, specifically, the president of NO MA'AM's wife.


lawhawk said...

Hey, I like the Kendall reference (the exploding vending machine).

Very X-files of you...

Justin said...

Red, no doubt.

With a hand behind his back and the other guy armed with a flamethrower

lawhawk said...

Oh, and I'd put my money on Red. Not just because he'll nail someone with a foot up their ass, but because he'll do it without spilling the beer in his hand, saving the First Lady, and taking out multiple terrorists with heavy weapons and a flamethrower.

Locke, while having overcome his prior status in a wheelchair, has yet to stare down the ghost whisperers on the Island as Mr. Eko has done.

Red wins in the 3d round. Knockout.