Carnival of Bauer

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Thursday, February 02, 2006

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pennsylvania (AP) -- Punxsutawney Phil saw Jack Bauer's shadow, but it was hard to find a complainer in the crowd at Gobbler's Knob. This ensures there will be at least six more months of killing on 24.

The last time Phil did not see Bauer's shadow, Jack tortured the mayor of Punxsutawney, his wife, and 30 local residents until Phil finally admitted to seeing Jack's shadow.

Phil also predicted that the Seattle Seahawks would win the Super Bowl 35-24, which led Jack Bauer to take the groundhog into a dark room for 30 minutes. When they emerged, a semiconscious Punxsutawney Phil predicted that the Pittsburgh Steelers would win 28-14.


Anonymous said...

For some reason, I couldn't get my better half to drive the 90 miles to Puxsutawney this morning.

Buckaroo Banzai said...

Jack then tortured Phil half to death until they explained why they called the area "Gobbler's Knob."

Jack then emerged laughing, saying, "Heh, heh, knob."