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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Point-Counterpoint. C. Montgomery Burns For Rebuttal

First, let me say how proud I am of the Danish people. Not since the days of Hamlet have you so brazenly shown your genitalia. I salute you for it. To those Muslim hordes who have rushed to riot like so many sheep, I say to you, "Continue!." Your violent inbred tendencies have confirmed my suspicions; you are no better than the Illegals I have hosing down my reactor core. But I digress.

"Wavy Gravy" over there is using the same tired old arguments that oil is bad. Why, I remember people rallying against William McKinley for the same thing; and we all know how WM handled that, right? But in this case, I agree with our unkempt idealist. Oil is bad. Nuclear power is good. President Logan needs to unshackle the country from the cavemen of the Middle East, and Charleston into the 1950's. Nuke The Oil, that's my slogan.

President Logan is no racist. He is no James Garfield, either. I knew James Garfield. I served with him. President Logan, you are no James Garfield. He was not ashamed that Martha was re-enacting Mandingo; he was just ashamed that she wouldn't let him watch. For shame. Of course, shipping her to Vermont was not far enough. Logan, I have one word for you: Ceylon.

Finally, Fox should fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola. An incompetent, wishy-washy puppet is just the thing a billionaire needs to acquire more power. Dennis Kucinich is not the answer. Vote Strom Thurmond in '08. He's just the sort of new blood for which this country yearns.

Impeach Weasel, Dennis Kucinich For President

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