Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive

Add to Google

24 Fanatic


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Point - Kick the Jack Habit

Point- Audrey Raines: Kick The Jack Habit Today!
by Dr. Phil (on loan from

At what point is it ok to leave someone you love? Well if the person you "love" tortured your brother, killed your husband, and then faked his own death all in one day just to get away from you...then I'd say he's nothing but bad news and needs to be kicked to the curb. Audrey, remember what I said in my book, Relationship Rescue: "Awareness without action is worthless". Kick the Jack Habit and get on with your life!

I see this everyday on my show. These women who refuse to leave the "bad boy" and end up getting hurt emotionally, mentally, or physically; sometimes all three. It appears that Jack Bauer tends to give the "Triple Crown" to you and all the women he comes in contact with. Jack's anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration.

I also hear that Jack found another woman after he faked his death. He also accused you of being a mole, choked you, and had you tortured? But that's not all, he almost cut out the eyeball of a man you cared about. In my book, Love Smart : Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got, I talk about "warning signs", well Ms. Raines, Jack has just given you a "warning infomercial".

Audrey, there are just too many fish in the sea to be stuck with a flounder. Even with your penis-nose, a good guy is just around the corner. Just make sure to first check that corner for Jack Bauer in a Flank 2 position.

Counterpoint: Audrey, stand by your man! - by Mary Jo Buttafuoco

Previous Point-Counterpoint Posts
Point - Thin Mints are an addictive narcotic - by Jack Bauer
Counterpoint - Thin Mints Are Only The Beginning - by Vladimir Bierko

Point - I'm going to make it!
Counterpoint - Nah, you're not. - by Death

Point - CTU needs better training for their security guards before something bad happens
Counterpoint - My teenage daughter could have stopped every incursion into CTU!

Point- 24:The Game Will Lead to More Violence
Counterpoint - Violence Makes The World Go 'Round

Point - Jack Bauer could not have shot down one of our AS 350 Ecureuil Helicopters with a handgun
Counterpoint - A redneck with a squirt gun could shoot down your euro-trash.

Point - It's Time To Turn Jack Bauer Over To The Chinese
Counterpoint - Confucius Say, "Man With Wandering Groin Accomplishes Little"

Point - Impeach Weasel, Dennis Kucinich For President
Counterpoint - Fox should fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola

Point - They are already illegally wiretapping Jack Bauer's cell phone, whose next?
Counterpoint - The U.S. government does not violate our civil rights enough!


Anonymous said...

What we have here is an unhealthy expression of angst. Is Jack dead or is he alive? You guys are just taking it out on me.

Feel good about Jack's situation and you will feel good about yourself.

RFTR said...

Isn't anyone else concerned by the fact that The Man knows a line from one of Dr. Phil's books?

What has your wife done to you, man?

Anonymous said...

RFTR - Let's talk about a bigger issue. Your Kim obsession.

You need to stop with the Kim stalking and start living for yourself.

Buckaroo Banzai said...

The Man is whiopped, and RFTR is a stalker. Thankfully, I am perfectly normal.

Anonymous said...

Phil. Stuff it, your fatass hasn't helped anyone with marriage problems. Hell, my wife left me after you called. You know what, after I finish Jack, I think I'm going to Robo-Cap you.