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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Point: Jack Bauer could not have shot down one of our AS 350 Ecureuil Helicopters with a handgun.

Hi I'm Mark Paganini, the CEO of American Eurocopter. Like many Americans, I was sitting down with my dog and a bottle of scotch to watch 24 Monday night. I usually root for Jack Bauer and the goofballs at CTU. That is until Jack went up against one of my company's AS 350 Ecureuil's. There is no way that a handgun, even fired by Jack Bauer, could take down one of our helicopters.

Let me say that the bad guys made a nice choice in personal helicopters. No other commercial helicopter can transport 7 Russian men with machine guns to a random rooftop in order to carry out an assassination like the AS 350. The Turbomeca Arriel 2B1 turbine engine provided these men with a fast, yet comfortable ride from their hideout and back. The light alloy body increases fuel efficiency and lowers gas costs to the cash strapped rouge Russian terrorists. The optional integrated entertainment package also allows the passengers to enjoy DVDs and CDs with digital stereo outputs in each of the seats.

It's true the AS 350 was not made to withstand gunfire, but Jack's firing position in relation to the Turbomeca Arriel 2B1 turbine engine and his use of a handgun makes drops the probability of Jack Bauer shooting down the helicopter about the same as Snakes on a Plane winning a Golden Globe.

Thank You,

American Eurocopter
President and Chief Executive Officer
Mark Paganini

Counterpoint: A redneck with a squirt gun could shoot down your euro-trash.

Previous Point-Counterpoint Posts
Point - It's Time To Turn Jack Bauer Over To The Chinese
Counterpoint - Confucius Say, "Man With Wandering Groin Accomplishes Little."

Point - Impeach Weasel, Dennis Kucinich For President
Counterpoint - Fox should fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola

Point - They are already illegally wiretapping Jack Bauer's cell phone, whose next?
Counterpoint - The U.S. government does not violate our civil rights enough!


voiceboy said...

Well then how about his cell pone of death?
Huh, what about it?

Anonymous said...

The Treo 650 does not have the Anti-Aircraft capabilites that the 700w does. Had Jack switched to Verizon Wireless instead of sticking with Sprint, his Treo could have shot down the helicopter.

jwookie said...

It is also impossible to get from Ontario airport to Northridge in under 20 minutes, yet for Jack this is nothing. Perhaps Jack has hidden powers we've not yet fully grasped.

Anonymous said...

Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! »